So this is how it usually goes…

I was at a coffee shop in Jackson Hole.  I hung out there while my sister was at work.   Of course a cute girl is a part of the scene/experience.  First their was the inability to figure out the power system.  Then we moved onto the throwing of a quarter while we take off our coat.  Throw in being caught looking when the person turns around from going to throw out their trash and you have a pretty typical scene of being around cute girls. 

Except this time it wasn’t me!  I have to admit that I struggled with figuring out where the electrical outlet was when I got there.  She asked for my assistance and I popped the cover.  She then threw money while taking her coat off.  I pointed out where her money had gone.  She made the comment that she would fall apart if it wasn’t for me being there.   Then their was the trip to the trash can and turning around to see her looking at me and realizing that I noticed that she was doing it.

My thought was why couldn’t I have experienced this in Boise.  I travel six hours and come across someone that at first appearances is cute and seems to have some personality.   However, I wouldn’t have talked to her.  I should have talked to this girl.

Follow up to questioning the recent friendship saga.  Their actions speak of who they are.   Maybe I’m better off not having them as a friend.  I do feel sorry for them.

I don’t know where to start.  Maybe because I just don’t how to capture it with words.

I talked to a friend today.  More like “texted” with a friend today.  Or whatever the correct grammar is.   I enjoy texting much more than calling.  I’ve heard people say it has taken away from communicating with people.  I find it the opposite.  I stay in touch with friends throughout the day and I never would have done that before.

I’ve been a really good friend to this person.  Today I heard that they no longer wanted to be friends.  Which I really don’t get.  We have been close friends and really opened up to each other about things.  We have had our moments and through all of them the friendship remained intact.  Now it is over apparently. 

I’m not going to go into details other than that it has ended and it seems to be for no logical reason.   I don’t think it would be right to share.  They have moved on, but i will be fair to what was our friendship. 

I got on to write because it really sucks to open yourself up to someone and let them in.   I haven’t had the best of track records with relationships.  Sometimes due to my own actions and other times not.  In this case it hurts because I was a good friend.  There is a feeling that my friendship was something that they needed and now they have moved on because they don’t need it anymore.   I feel like that has happened many times in my life. 

Maybe it goes to the post of It is Written.   Maybe there is a purpose to it.  Sometimes i’ve thought that maybe that is my purpose.  Help someone through something and then they move on.  Eventually someone else comes into my life and I will do the same thing for them.  Overall the experiences have left me with definite trust issues in the fact that it is only a matter of time until the people in my life leave.  I’ve been working on replacing those past experiences with new positive ones.  I thought this was such an experience, but it turned out to not be the case.  Overall I know my actions were the person I want to be.  However, I know that the experience will be filed away somewhere inside of me and adds to who I am.  Not in a good way.  I’m not going to stop being who I am though. 

I’m heading to Wyoming tomorrow to see my sister and her family.  I like being on the road because it really lets me think and reflect on things.  It’s been a while and I have lots of stuff that I’m sure will be flowing through me.  In regards to this one I have many questions.  Questions that I will not find answers to.   The only answer i will ever know is that I was a great friend.