I think she gave more love than she recieved. She was filled with so much love. She loved life and those around her. It was Kate’s last day today. She was my sweet little puppy and I miss her dearly.

I found out yesterday that she had cancer. The prognosis wasn’t good. Was basically told that it couldn’t be fixed. She had a large tumor in her stomach and the vet couldn’t tell what organ it was on. Either the pancreas, liver, or spleen. That was all he could tell by the x-ray. The only chance she would have had is if it was on her spleen. Even with being able to remove that if it was the case it didn’t sound good. We didn’t know if it had spread but the bloodwork had shown it was a possibility. It had grown so fast. Surgery was needed to determine where it was located. I also could have gone to a specialist and they might have been able to get a better idea without surgery. The vet said it wasn’t likely that anything could be done, but he said he would give the info to the other clinic if I wanted to get a second opinion.

I debated on what to do. She was suffering so much. She struggled to get up. You could see the pain in her eyes. Her beautiful big brown eyes that showed so much. Because of who she was I think her health might have been worse than it was. She just wanted to show love and please everyone. I didn’t want to put her through more pain. Yet I didn’t want to take away her life if she could be saved and still have a normal life. I think I made the right choice. She was shaking today and her eyes would roll back. I think the pain mediciation was keeping her with us. I just didn’t want her to suffer anymore and was worried that trying to save her would lead to more suffering.

Yesterday I picked her up from the vet. We went for ice cream which she absolutely loves. Then it was a ride to pick up my dad’s truck so she could ride in it. She used to love her drives. My parents and I took her for a trip to the river last night. Our little lifeguard dog loved the river. I think she might have thought she was a fish. then it was off for some more ice cream. She did a skype call with my ex-wife last night. They loved each other very dearly. Then her and I slept on the living room floor for a little campout. I wanted her to know that she was loved. I wanted her to experience those things that she loved in life.

I don’t know if I made the right choice or not. I think I did the right thing. I hope I did the right thing. I hope she is at a better place and that her last moments in life were filled with love and joy despite the pain.

there is a big hole in my life right now. She had been with me for nearly 9 years. Through that she brought a lot of joy and entertianment. She also was there when there was sadness. Either a nudge with her nose or a look with those deep brown eyes that showed so much expression and emotion. It is one of the hardest moments in my life and i could really use a hug from her.

This morning we petted her and hugged her. We then took her to the vet. She carried her toy in her mouth and did her little strut. there was lots of tail wagging. She looked happy. She then went quietly to sleep.

I love you Kate. I miss you. Thank you for everything you brought to my life. I hope your well.